Witter, a 24-year-old self-described atheist living in Orlando, is the creator of the Post-Rapture Post, which bills itself as "the postal service of the saved."
For as little as .99, Witter offers to deliver your letters to friends and loved ones left behind after the Rapture, when some Christians believe they will be whisked up to heaven while everyone else — the "Left Behind" of the popular book series — suffers a series of tribulations.
As Witter sees it, it will fall to the unsaved to serve as the postmen of the Apocalypse.
"Do you want to take the chance that your loved ones will have to suffer through your ascension into Heaven without knowing how you really feel in your heart?" the site asks. "Sign up for the Post-Rapture Post today to guarantee that, while you are gone, you will remain in the thoughts of those left behind."
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"Holy crap, a plan B.," wrote one of the site’s visitors, known only as Fred B. from Oregon. "This is my kind of religion."
Others weren’t so charitable. "I am shocked at your website," penned a woman identified as Kim F. "It is not even remotely funny. … All who are a part of this, surely, God will judge to damnation."
As an atheist, one of the things Witter doesn’t believe in is any sort of damnation. Or the Rapture. Or God, for that matter. Even if there is a Rapture, he said, it’s best to prepare because Witter is pretty sure he’ll be one of the many left behind.
"The Bible says that only those that repent of their sins and accept Jesus as the True Son of God will be saved," the site reads. "We do neither. Some of our personal sins include: drunkenness, heresy, sacrilege/blasphemy, gluttony, laciviousness, and sloth. There is no way we are going to disappear into Heaven any time soon."
Witter guarantees that should the Rapture arrive, he would deliver all letters entrusted to him.
He created the website in 2004 after graduating from Syracuse University. "My friends think it’s hilarious," he said. "We all like it."
But he also thinks it is logical.
"If you are a good person after the Rapture, (you’ll ascend)," Witter said. "If you have a son you want to behave so that he might also see Jesus," you send him a letter.
Social bookmarking sites and the blogosphere have generated interest in the Post-Rapture Post. Witter said he received about 2,000 e-mails after fark.com posted a link to the site.
So far, just 11 people have purchased letters from Witter’s site, all of whom chose the least expensive, Class I message for .99.
Letters that are delivered on fancy resume paper are available for .99, but medieval-style parchment costs 9.99.
"I wish someone would order the expensive one," Witter said.
The merchandise on the site is more popular.
Witter said he has sold about 300 T-shirts, Rapture survival guides and coffee mugs. He is not sure how much money he’s made, but says it’s enough to at least break even.
It also has earned him a few nasty letters.
"I get about 80% hate mail," Witter acknowledged. The other 20% fall roughly into two categories: people who appreciate the satire, and fellow atheists — offering their services as postal workers after the Rapture.
Posted 7d ago
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who would dare use this service
well form the first 14 comments i got i can see that fleesing the sheep make people not take this guys mockery as serious i understand that but i wouldent be surprised if some so calleddsaved folks tried to market something like this cause some church folks do stuff like that BUT its still appaling to me (no spell check for add. comments





December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
That’s awesome. He is a genius. If you believe in christianity then you should pay for this insurance, just in case.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
reading.. why shoudnt they? unless deep in their hearts, they dont really believe…
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Hehehehehehe
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Has religion destroyed your sense of humor along with your rationality?
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
He’s a slimeball taking advantage of the weak just like the church leaders do. Being Atheist doesn’t change that. A slimeball is a slimeball is a slimeball.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I love whimsy and satire.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I want a t-shirt.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Sounds like a plan. Also, someone needs to start a Post-Rapture Used Car Dealership. Gonna be a lot of cars just laying around, after all.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Hahahah! That is priceless!
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
i love it haha
i want a tshirt.
and.
whats an athiest?
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
It’s satire. There’s nothing wrong with satire. Chill out.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I am suprised that theres not more people taking it seriously.
I think there are alot of people who do truly feel confident that they will be wisked up, quite literally.
personally I think theres more truth to the whole concept than atheists would be generally thinking, but in a very different way than the christians do.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
lol, who doesnt enjoy a laugh every now and then. i dont see anything wrong with him doing it either.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
It seems like a logical progression. Why should the pastors be the only ones to fleece the sheep?